No recuerdo como lo encontré, pero en este preciso momento me siento identificada con lo que copiaré de la publicación original. Es por cierto, de otro blog de wordpress, Creo que yo no podría describir mejor todo lo que estoy sientiendo.
I can’t take it any more, patience is running out, how long will i go on like this, a pitiful existence... ...i am losing my mind just like my hopes.
May be it’s my fault, may be I fail, there must be something wrong with me, that everytime I do find someone, someone i call a friend, everytime i thank god for finally sending that person to me…it all goes down the drain, within a few days i realise i was mistaken, my feelings of love, frienship, companionship, admiration, affection towards that person is unreciprocated, he/she already has someone else, and he/she doesn’t need me…
My heart so hurt has stopped beating, has stopped feeling, my tears have dried up and my dreams have walked out on me…these were mine, i gave birth to them, the dreams, wishes, hopes, feelings, my joys, my fears and even they left me, how bad must i be that even they couldn’t stand being with me???
I fail to find reasons to love myself, why should anybody else on earth love me? I am not the worst person on earth. I bet you can’t hate me, even if you don’t love me, you can’t dislike me even if you dont like me…It’s impossible for you to notice my existense, have any feelings for me, good bad whatever…I don’t mean anything to anybody in this earth, if i die tommorow may be you wont even notice, may be you would never even know, because you’ll not try to find me when i am not there, because it wouldn’t matter to you if I am not there…
I used to be happy about the fact that i dont have any enemies, but now even that hurts, i so desperatly crave for emotions that even if someone hated me, i will thank him and i’ll pray for him, for having spent at least some thoughts over me…
I feel like screaming, going crazy, breaking , destroying everything just so that someone will turn around and pay attention to me
and that is the problem with me, i am a nobody, i dont provoke any emotions in any one, no one can talk about me, there’s nothing to say about me, nothing to remember about me , nothing to understand, i am not ugly but my face is so unattractive that you wouldn’t be able to reacall it, the way i speak is so natural that you won’t hear me in your mind, if no one can think about me because my persona doesn’t register into anybody’s mind how can i matter to them…
